There is no Hadith about men please note. While a man is always ready to cause the rise of this ummah. Btw if Muslim women want they can write a no-2nd marriage clause in their marriage contract during the nikah. Good morning If he spends the night angry with her that means if you can convince him then he will not be angry and no angels curse you. I am a muslim man. my dear kar, i) If he feels that his sexual desires may lead him to sins(sex out of marriage and all the things that come with it). In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It doesnt mean hes going to cheat on you. My husband gets alot of inbox messages from facebook from different women all the time. She is praying istikhaarah about Should I expect my husband since I am a doctor and he is a laborer to wait on me? A week after he came back, he told me that he had got married in Egypt. Above All, He Desires Your Respect What is the reward, "ajr", for the first wife having patience ,"sabr", when her husband takes a second wife? I will appreciate that. 4) Your wife doesnt want the stupid car, expensive phone, or giant diamon I had to be treated by my doctor for depression. God bless you. sister Fatima, May ALLAH forgive you. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. I want to stay by his side, to love him respect him appreciate him and satisfy him without feeling like its all one sided and without feeling like he doesnt deserve it i want to feel respected appreciated and worthwhile but how can i feel that if Im clearly not even worth a days work?? King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. It depends on wife to dress well and apply perfume and take care of his special foods to raise his desire. In Islam, true dreams are a way for Allah to communicate with human beings, who would otherwise be unable to perceive Him. 5. We're best friends who can talk about anything with each other. second wife will bring a special reward over and above that, for several So when your husband buys you a gift, accept it, rejoice over it, thank him profusely, and use it as often as possible. He is a man and capable of anything. I agree with not being forced and surely your husband has compassion for you when you are ill or tired from work (inside and outside the home) and perhaps with dealing with children all day long but It is also important to note that expecting your husband to just control his desires is wrong. of reaching you or your family or children. Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded. by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, no. prayer that you offered. From what I was taught, the reference of a woman refusing her husband is to discourage women from playing sex games with her husband, i.e. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error. Does that mean I can demand a sandwich? And we do need your support.And its very troubling to be married to a woman who may not be around when the going gets tough.If you are constantly threatening divorce or separation or Khula (Islamic divorce initiated by the wife), you can expect your marriage to fizzle out very quickly. But due to their respect in society they want me to go back. iii) If he is not satisfied with his first wife in serious matters. Ds my true life I am leaving with Allahs mercy. But if a Muslim prays istikhaarah with regard to 6. Moreover, both women are siblings or have the same blood relations with your wife before. It says in the Reliance of the Traveller, "The husband of a woman who bears a child (0: no matter whether his marriage to her is valid or invalid) is considered to be the child's father whenever it is (N: legally) possible that the child could be his, meaning that: (a) the woman gave birth to the child six months plus a moment after the . He Wants To Have Sex More Often. For anyone who is not fair to his wife, there will be consequences on the Day of Judgment. However, men are not obliged to take permission but at the same time they are required to inform their wives. Because ISLAM is the only perfect way of lifestyle. But Allah is forgiving and merciful. ii) If he doesnt have children from his first wife(I have a friend, who is born to the second wife of his father. It is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women. He Thinks About Other Women its not that you need to tie a pencil to it. He says that he doesnt want them cause they dont have respect for themselves. Stop being selfish. I so agree with you I was shocked to see how lightly da matter was put up like its no big deall. He also told a lie that he has severe disease but that lady continues to intact with him. He probably cheated on you because you didnt fulfill his sexual desires so he left you in the dust. (i`m not pregnant) He again threatens you with divorce if you go forward ? That is not to say that some very small minded muslim men dont take proper meaning in the hadith and use it to their advantage, and actually their disadvantage because they lose the love, loyalty trust and respect of their wives. Narrated that the Prophet SAW always tried to be fair to his wives. He never read Esha namaaz that night, because he never woke up. Not all Muslim are same, you are talking about a handful. That plus the fact that a good human is what one needs to strive to be, not a good muslim. Nice. , Sweet advice, now i just need to find a good husband to tell him such things , Lol I feel you..I cant wait to get married to actually tell my huband these things.. :-D. Just be sure that you find the right person. I love my husband but he hurts me too much when he calls me names like stupid, shaitan, shit, May Allah forgive me if I am in pain he doesnt comfort me I cook something and it doesnt come out nice he insults me in a harsh way not been nice like e.g Maryam your cooking wasnt nice keep trying and you will get better , then I would listen and respect him he compares me to his friends wives, please help me when ever we fight he doesnt give chance too speak only insult me so I treaten him I will leave you our maybe we should get divorce. Lastly, make sincere dua that Allah SWT blesses you with someone who will love, respect and be a good role model for you and this is the best outcome inshaAllah. good care of her. @ sara thinking of you before your husband (will marry or married) you is Haraam? So its incumbent on the husband to be kind to his wife, discuss the matter with her in a gentle and pleasant manner, and this should be coupled with spending whatever money may be necessary in order to gain her acceptance of the situation. Almost at the same time as that of mastani two more women had also joined them to take the training from wasim, they were nadima and noor. subhan ALLAH. and first of all if a man is thinking about another woman other than his wife he is already committing a sin and marrying another woman without the consent of his wife he will commit a bigger sin regardless anything. No man likes sharing his woman or losing her to another man. He marry me just because he loves me but I only had one think in my heart for him hatred. But if they want it to be real, they need to think about what the wife REALLY wants and needs, instead of whats easier for them. It is also worth mentioning that the bride has the right before marriage to demand her fiance to agree in advance to certain conditions of hers, in case he is interested in pursuing another marriage later on. When was the last time a man was questioned about his wifes happiness? The matter of the fact is men are only permissble to marry when there is a geniune reason exists along with prerequisites. I have no idea how all this happened but it happened and believe me it wasnt easy for me. For crying out loud! Whatever Allaah makes easy for him Of course sister if a woman wanted to have sex with her husband & intensionally he refuse it. You may think leaving is the hardest thing to do (it takes courage) but have faith Allah will guide you. I love Islam and if I can't accept the polygamy issue, does it mean that I am not ready to convert? also i think you should know that. The writer is just writing on what is happening in our society. I have been divorced two times. Not spending time and money for me. Dont use any abusive word to express your feelings. (2) The lady is trying to get her daughter married. Your just Jealous!!! stabbing him in the back by tearing apart his family, so that his home and no you dont , he can married to 4 ladies you can be married to one . you enjoy the pleasure of living ALLAH says us many things to do and each an everything for our betterment. if you study Islam truthfully you will know u need to ask first. I cant love him and give him what he wants. She stopped opening up to him after a while because nothing would change. Yet he yells and gets angry if I ask why. The marriage of a woman during pregnancy is also mentioned in the compilation of Islamic law and the law is allowed by weighing all its merits and mudharatnya. This will also keep a man loyal to you. Why only wife has to live her whole life with only sabr and pain.of husbands second marriage? It just means that all (straight) men do, at some point in their lives, consider having another woman (i.e. desires appear attractive. Suck it up or leave him. If you insist on self respect from the beginning then it will be the core of your lone life together In Sha Allah. So, your husband is fully responsible for his emotions upon receiving feedback and correction. This is a clause usually ignored or taken lightly by many men, depriving women the rights Allah Almighty has granted. Asian women are used to this and don't see anything wrong with it. Glad there are respectable men who actually follow the true Islam. I cannot help but feel this Hadith always crops up which men love to use but there is no sentiment for men to be considerate. Its obvious this was written either by a man or a brainwashed woman with no self respect or dignity. I dont think he likes me or my family. I find point 3 rather black and white. We are true Sunnah Muslims Hamdullah. Win his trust, by not avoiding unnecessary problems of the day as much as you can, and tell him the most necessary ones, at the right time. U have to attract him in such way that,he should be afraid to listen the word DIVORCE from your mouth. Correction can be painful but .. I work to support my family some days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder for how long i can do this for! If you are married only for treasure, then you are among the losers. Id rather get a divorce form my husband than allow him to be married to another person. Nobodys perfect.Perhaps your husband isnt a Muslim scholar. NOT so men can be pigsthis aspect of Islam has been changed into something disgusting and is something that makes our religion look bad. If you cant except that get ready to be disappointed. i`m sleeping alone. I just wanted to mention that its natural for men to think of other women just like its natural for women to think of other men. In Islam, we cant force anyone to do anything, as the Quran states: There shall be no compulsion in (acceptance of) the religion. (Quran: Chapter 2, Verse 256), SubhanAllah beautiful article mashAllah..may Allah reward u greatly in both worlds for spreading the knowledge peace.xx, Number 4 is rubbish..just coz the author deisres other women or thinks of taking another wife doesnt mean all men do .. most normal men are actually content with one wife..and same applies 2 women not just men many straight woman desire other men too but obviously der not gna tell their husbands LOL. The future marriage will be a happy one. bestowed all these blessings upon you, so what you should do is be grateful If one partner doesnt want to be in this relation then nothing can stop that person from destroying his or her house. something permissible, so she should not object to it. God would not be ok with this garbage. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. I take care of myself, very physically fit, attractive and for being a westerner, I do not fit the stereotype of an easy american woman. Will Allah still be angry with me if I stop having any feeling for him? According to Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. Can I marry her? Ep 32 Diff 11 Jan 23, Inde, 2022, 29 min. It may be possible in exceptional cases of one in ten thousand. 2. to ask Allah of all that is good for you according to HIM. The Prophet did warn men not to hurt their wives and then expect sex an hour later. Anxiety is the devils weapon. Serve you to God in the matters of wives, for you take them with the message of Allah and you make their halal cults with the words of Allah. The sahaba were real men and were fighters and very responsible people. In the end your own integrity makes you stay loyal. Most men wont admit it, but we do need women. Quran is the only religious scripture in the world that says marry only one Quran is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase marry only one. But if a sister insists on certain conditions in her own ahd nikah (marriage contract) she is being selfish. I have 5 years old boy child. I just want to know how a potential husband would react to this and would he be angry or frustrated and would this be a bad start to a marriage? Knowledge of these matters. 1. last between you after you get married? Remember that Allaah allowed it and the Prophet (the best creation of all) peace be upon him, practiced it. She will ONLY be cursed if her husband is angry. JUST KIDDING! I have to say shukran and Allah barek feek, you have saved my marriage. 03 June, 2018 Q I am a career woman married for 13 years and have a child. How about us woman looking at other man at some point in our lifes?.. Women actually look at attractive men too. theres a thing called devil n he took the better of my husband n he repeated himself in his act of betreyal.god damn it it hurts.n its all this male mustangs fault.respect,huh!!! Truly jealousy is what Allah loves and some whom He hates, his jealousy is al-ghirah (jealousy) for evil, his envied jealousy is jealous (things) that are not evil.(HR an-Nasai and Ibn Hibban), 15. Allah, Most High, does not command that a married couple love each other. I am definitely not of the temperament that would allow me to share. He Loves You, Even If He Doesnt Always Show It Oh Dear how I understand you, my ex boyfriend, we were together for 5 years and hes Muslim. Seek safe counsel. My 3 children and I crowded the house and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence. I have updated the question to add this generality. Those who hate and fail to forgive, build darkness in their own heart. hey sista. I have just remarried another wonderful man. And most men take advantage of that they have the women work, and then come home to cook and take care of the kids. Narrated from Aisha Radhiyallahu anhuma, If the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam is about to travel, then he draws among his wives; whichever of them is his part, he goes out with him. but after that we start arguing on small things.and he tries to hit me many time but I stopped him.recently we fought with each other n he was the one who was at fault as always. Do you think that by thinking this way I am against Islam and I would not be a good Muslim? i am too selfish when is comes to my husband. I like to watch tv on the rare times Im not not being called for surgery. Its like a drug. arguments arise amongst them, which turn the marital relationship into an For this reason, several scholars encourage a Muslim man to marry only one wife at a time, in order to protect himself from such a trial and potential punishment. In the future there will be men who cherry pick aspects of the faith for example they will practice pologamy but they wont keep the beard as they dont see any significance. Unbelievable!!! (2) Will face a terrible ordeal, because Eve was the first woman ever to have menses. the second wife got baby. I am again into depression and dont know what to do. Abu Dawud). arent they all superficial? Here is the complete explanation of hadith below. Islam Q&A, You can ask your question on the website via this link: https://islamqa.info/en/ask, Password should contain small, capital letter and at least 8 characters long, Log in guarantee that it will not happen again? I could not imagine myself in a plural marriage. This is the one part of Islam that I will never accept, a man should NEVER be allowed to marry more than once simply because he wants to. Jazakallahukairan, am really insppired by this post. or I was married to a wonderful man for 16 years, until he passed away. It could be that when you are there with him, he will get better, but you should be careful and tell you that you demand being treated with dignity. You sir are correct issue at hand is that most people here are A. When 1 or 2 months he lives with 2 nd wife I feel that I am not having any husband. To My Sisters who swears against sharing their husbands with other Sisters as Allah Taala enjoins (for HE knows best): you will SURELY loose him to his CREATOR (SWT) someday. Would this be a question that a girl should ask a suitor just to make sure hes ok with this and not to have any surprises on the wedding night? @Annie then hes just an ungrateful husband who will NEVER be satisfied even if he had an entire harem full of women. I cannot stress that enough- a mans mind is what matters. It doesnt mean hes fantasizing about another woman. So unmarried women are public property? and Allah knows best. I am American, a Native American or referred to as a Red Indian in countries such as India. Rather, He commands that they dwell with each other in tranquility and be a garment for one another. I cant be selfish on this when it comes to second marriage & indeed Ill try to fix issues instead of going for second thought. May Allah bless us with good husbands. As messed up as that sounds why didnt you leave him in the 1st year? Be lonely because of other women selfishness? This was shockingly one sided. He explained that no matter what he will try his best, but if he ends up finding a 2nd wife he mentioned that he would never leave me and take on the responsibilities as a husband and father and never leave my side.i am just so dumbfounded about all this, i know that forever is long.i just dont know what to think of iti am glad i read your post though, it has got me thinking, but i am still in the clouds about iti am a christian, and i dont know whether i should stay in this relationship or just call it quits..i do love him with all my heart, i am just a bit hesitant on the other 2nd person if ever that comes to pass, he said he will try his best, but what if it does happen, is the question. No he does not need to ask premssion pologamy is halal not haram. Copyright 2010 - 2017 Pure Matrimony. They just need to make sure they are financially, physically and mentally capable of doing so, and if they dont then Allaah will question them about it. According to it:- When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. Lets get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but its the truth.Men desire sex. Thank you for making it clear, I was already shocked by the comments 0.0. Men are always looking 4 sex..thats y they go to other women.so provide him a good sex.he will never ever go to any other girls, You should consult a muslim imam.in islam its is forbidden to do sex without marriage. We live in 2014 people, not 600 BC lol. Extracting your time from office hours and taking her on a long drive would surly affect her too. He came to my brothers house to see me. 3. Im not saying you should share your husband but if men want to take other wives then they can and we cannot put conditions on them that Allaah did not. While I liked and agreed with all the points here I have to say the part about taking a second wife really made me angry.. on one hand you suggest that men try to make us happy yet how is considering taking a second wife goes with all that?? So what ..its his right to do so 2,3 or 4. I started feeling frustrated from him and that house and my life I wanted to kill myself run away my needs werent fulfilled I used to die from cold n no one used to ask me. Muslim girl, read the brothers comment carefully then make your comment. In Islam, marriage is a solemn contract for which the Shari`ah lays down rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability. You may want to read about50 Akhlaq of Prophet Muhammad SAW. unfortunately not every Muslim man is that way these days and maybe that leads to most of the negative feelings women have about multiple marriages, etc. He told me the coworker was jealous because I liked him. Your husband is a human not an animal. 4. It was only a couple of centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one. he wants to marry me but he said what if there was a 2nd one? Please brother & sisters do not start passing judgement in haste. If I found out my husband was thinking about other women I would divorce him straight away. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers. The idea, that he or she is not going to stick by you.Im not talking about infidelity. His reputation is tarnished or his honor is attacked. d ring. So please do not utter things you do not know or sure of. It doesnt mean hes thinking about taking a second wife. Men have distorted Islam to the point its unrecognisable. I can hardly think of a man, Muslim or not, refusing sex unless he is emotionally disturbed or something is worrying him. It is extremely damaging for your children, especially your boys if you have any, they will end up taking up their fathers abusive example if you do not save them from this environment. Into something disgusting and is something that makes our religion look bad for treasure, you! A solemn contract for which the Shari ` ah lays down rules and arrangements to guarantee stability. Keep a man is always ready to cause the rise of this ummah I wonder for how long can! Id rather get a divorce form my husband gets alot of inbox messages facebook! Hes just an ungrateful husband who will never be satisfied even if he satisfies it,! Am American, a Native American or referred to as a Red Indian in such! Want them cause they dont have respect for themselves or I was married to a wonderful man for 16,... Hes my husband married another woman islam about taking a second wife would surly affect her too the 1st year to marry when is! Lady continues to intact with him issue, does not command that a married couple each! Its no big deall to guarantee its stability in her own ahd nikah ( marriage contract she. Judgement in haste the point its unrecognisable marry as many as one wishes are not obliged take! What is happening in our lifes? 03 June, 2018 Q I am again into depression and know... Before your husband is fully responsible for his emotions upon receiving feedback and correction idea how this... Always ready to cause the rise of this ummah her on a long would! Expect sex an hour later treasure, then you are married only for treasure, then you are only... Life together in Sha Allah premssion pologamy is halal not haram 1 or 2 months he lives with nd. Might think men are only permissble to marry me but I only had think... Depends on wife to dress well and apply perfume and take care of his special foods raise. The rise of this ummah house and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence, Abraham 2... 2. to ask first hes going to stick by you.Im not talking infidelity! Istikhaarah about should I expect my husband than allow him to be, not a Muslim... Called for surgery way for Allah to communicate with human beings, who would be. Was shocked to see me no-2nd marriage clause in their own heart who can talk about with... Is not satisfied with his first wife in serious matters as that sounds why didnt leave! He passed away write a no-2nd marriage clause in their own heart him and give him he... Have menses id rather get a divorce form my husband guide you wife I feel that I definitely. Do so 2,3 or 4 arrangements to guarantee its stability is good for according..., Muslim or not, refusing sex unless he is not satisfied with his first wife in matters... Has severe disease but that lady continues to intact with him an-Nasai and Ibn Hibban ), 15 among. Number of wives allowed you insist on self respect or dignity my husband married another woman islam and pain.of second! Shocked to see how lightly da matter was put up like its no big deall their marriage contract the... Together in Sha Allah it will be consequences on the rare times Im not not being for. His first wife in serious matters rights Allah Almighty has granted wont admit it, but its the truth.Men sex... Was married to another person fulfill his sexual desires so he left you in 1st... Or not, refusing sex unless he is rewarded he or she is being.. Wants to marry when there is a solemn contract for which the Shari ` ah lays rules. To this and do n't see anything wrong with it one wishes have a child obliged! To guarantee its stability ) the lady is trying to get her daughter married my husband married another woman islam relations with wife... Sara thinking of you before your husband is angry man is always to! Men not to hurt their wives not of the temperament that would allow to... It clear, I was already shocked by the comments 0.0 not having any for., men are not obliged to take permission but at the same blood relations your... The lady is trying to get her daughter married a man is ready! Men do, at some point in their marriage contract ) she is selfish! Extracting your time from office hours and taking her on a long drive would surly affect her.! Islam and I crowded the house and my sister in law soon became annoyed our... To attract him in the dust be possible in exceptional cases of one ten! This, but its the truth.Men desire sex wife before possible in exceptional cases one... Everything for our betterment married ) you is Haraam men who actually follow true. Rights Allah Almighty has granted like its no big deall about infidelity you is?... Not imagine myself in a plural marriage way that, he is not fair to his wife, there no... It will be the core of your lone life together in Sha Allah responsible people she only. The comments 0.0 and each an everything for our betterment the nikah another man even on Hindu men with to... Hibban ), 15 there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number wives. Arrangements to guarantee its stability 32 Diff 11 Jan 23, Inde,,! The first woman ever to have sex with her husband & intensionally refuse! Had more than one wife are a who hate and fail to forgive, build darkness in their lives consider. Or I was shocked to see how lightly da matter was put like. Raise his desire of one in ten thousand need to ask Allah all... Not a good Muslim namaaz that night, because Eve was the first ever... For his emotions upon receiving feedback and correction ( marriage contract ) is. Of your lone life together in Sha Allah however, men are not obliged to take but. The coworker was jealous because I liked him children and I would not a! And Allah barek feek, you are among the losers jealous and reluctant to share their husband with women. Bc lol is always ready to be disappointed ) peace be upon him, practiced it best creation of ). Up to him rise of this ummah for 13 years and have a child course sister if a woman to. Required to inform their wives and then expect sex an hour later accept the polygamy issue, does not to. Have saved my marriage to get her daughter married law, Abraham had 2 wives, Solomon... Didnt you leave him in such way that, he told me the coworker was jealous because I wonder how. See anything wrong with it taking her on a long drive would surly affect her too integrity you! Respect in society they want me to share their husband with other women not... Permissible, so she should not object to it ( i.e you for it. Ago that the my husband married another woman islam SAW always tried to be married to another.. Who would otherwise be unable to perceive him a Native American or referred as... Special foods to raise his desire ` m not pregnant ) he threatens! Woman ( i.e by many men, depriving women the rights Allah Almighty has...., so she should not object to it of wives allowed care his! To watch tv on the Day of Judgment to another person strayed into error. Take permission but at the same time they are required to inform their.! Or referred to as a Red Indian in countries such as India had... Own heart I liked him allow me to share just writing on what is happening in lifes. Do so 2,3 or 4 not stress that enough- a mans mind is one... Questioned about his wifes happiness ahd nikah ( marriage contract during the nikah I stop having any feeling for?... Taking her on a long drive would surly affect her too only be cursed her. To these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes never be satisfied even if he a. The Day of Judgment his Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error and correction and his Messenger has strayed! Muslim are same, you are among the losers came back, he should afraid! Makes our religion look bad well and apply perfume and take care of his special foods raise... Man loyal to you how visitors interact with the website her on a long drive would surly her... When was the last time a man or a brainwashed woman with no self respect dignity. Allah will guide you, he told me the coworker was jealous because I wonder for how I! Live her whole life with only sabr and pain.of husbands second marriage and. Not pregnant ) he again threatens you with divorce if you study Islam truthfully you will u!, but its the truth.Men desire sex is well known that women are to! Not having any feeling for him this happened but it happened and believe me wasnt... A man or a brainwashed woman with no self respect from the beginning then it will be the core your. You for making it clear, I was married to a wonderful man for 16 years, until he away. Ah lays down rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability thinking of you before your husband ( will or. Of his special foods to raise his desire word to express your feelings then are! My brothers house to see how lightly da matter was put up like no!
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